But…

I admit I am not the most positive person ever and I tend to analyze things pretty hard from a “realistic” perspective, BUT every time I feel optimistic about something I always think about the negative side of it o how it will be hard to do it or hard to accomplish it, etc.

How does one stay motivated and finds the power to move on, do new stuff or try a new perspective if that BUT is always there. I suppose “BUT” in my case means I am tired of my work, of the daily activity, o routine and people, I am frustrated, I am exhausted of trying and failing and would just want to go in the mountains all by myself and do nothing all day. Of course, that wouldn`t help and wouldn`t make a difference, but I jut lost my patience and everything just make me tired or mad. I am not sure if that “But” is just an excuse to start doing it or an excuse to keep on being miserable…

And hearing sweet and engaging quotes like you have to go on and try and do your best and get out there and kick ass, just don`t make me go out and start doing stuff. Just makes me go even more crazy, and makes me feel like I am failing without rescue. Every time I hear you have to stand out and you can do it I feel that the world is so demanding and all I have is the power to breath and with just that I cannot even make one step. I guess I do know I can do it and that I have to do it alone, BUT i don`t want to do it alone and fight for it, as I know how hard it is, and it is maybe even harder than getting motivated to do it. Oh, i jut wish I was a kid right now and my Mom would just take care of me, so I wouldn`t have to be responsible.

So how does one get motivated to start something, do or create something in this breakable world?
Where do you find your motivation and what helps you stand up and keep on going?

Do you have a dream?

When you are little everybody asks you what you want to do when you grow up. And each and everyone of us want to be something.  Well, I always changed my mind. I just couldn`t decide what exactly I want to be!

 

Which is kind of hunting me even until this moment. What the heck do you do if you don`t have only one dream, only one thing you want to become or accomplish in your life?

I can`t seem to tie myself of one dream, one wish to accomplish before I die. And i must ask you guys, is it normal or do I have a problem?

As much as I love myself (and trust me, I do, it`s impossible not to love a cutie like me 😛 ) I think I have an issue with this dream thing. Everybody is creating dream boards in their head or as a scrapbook album and it seems so full of hope, desire and ambition. I just don`t know what exactly I want to do for this big and important thing in my life, that if I do it, I can die happy and consider myself a lucky person. And I don`t lack ambition or desire but maybe I don`t use it in the right direction?

I have so many ideas, and so many things I want to do, I can`t decide which is the most important one. And here I have the angel and devil on my shoulders, one telling me it is OK, life will carry me on and see what happens, and the other one is calling me stupid in my face saying I am just lazy and ignorant and I will stay like this all my life because I don`t use my brain and do something. 😛

Oh dear, who should I believe?

Do we all have do dream big and change the world?

Where is all this coming from and why everybody should or could dream big and work for it and make it happen and etc? When we became all dreamers, saviors, powerful people who can accomplish anything with pure will and determination, who nobody can stop and who can and will do it because : they have a dream!

It just feels like a lot of crap and deception, when you hear everybody with all those positive quote that say you have to work hard for your dream, and you can do it, and if you dream it just wake up and start building it, etc. Of course I am doing it, as all of us are doing it because we do want a better life, but do you have to give all the people the impression that if they can`t do ti they are failures, because my dears, this is the outcome of this overrated ambitious positiveness. People have jobs, children, husbands and wives, families to maintain and loads of problems everyday. I`m not sure all this “dream big, work hard and you`ll do it” thing helps them be happier in life, especially if it makes them think they deserve a lot better and more than they have, and if they don`t accomplish them it is the end of life as you wish it.

Can we just be bakers, and shoe makers and salesman, without dreaming that we will be superstars and have all the money in the world? Can we just leave our lives in peace and being satisfied with what we have, instead of always chasing something almost untouchable? Yes some people accomplished their dreams, that doesn`t mean it will work for all the people on the planet. It doesn`t mean that my grandma, who was a nurse all her life should be sad because she couldn`t be a doctor or that a working parent  should feel depressed because he has to work for his kids instead of being a rock-star.

 

So, should I start creating a board of dreams or something like that, or just let my life go on and see where it takes me. Of course meanwhile I am working hard, I just can`t seem to find only one goal to work for and accomplish it, i want to save the world but  I wouldn`t know who to save first!

Is it the case that everybody has to dream big and try all their life to accomplish it, or we can just live the best of it, enjoy and be happy with what you can do?

 

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I found that is so hard to be good and do good, that most people are bad! Excuse my 6 year old thinking, but I just can`t help myself believing that.

After so many mixed feelings, guil and regret, I have to say it is so hard to stay positive, do good and want good for people, it is alomost breath taking for me. I find it very hard to keep on going, be motivated and be kind, when all problems get to you, and your heart just feels like wants to go for a run.

I find that where is faith there is hope, and hope is a powerful tool of God (I think), that makes us think that it might be better, that it might get easier on us.  Hope sometimes is not there, because we killed it, we refuse to let her grow and for sure we deny her acces in our hearts. Is it because being missarable is a solution to end your problems? Is it because being misserable is an answer to stop questioning and stop trying?

Fot me it sure is an easy way out, that many people choose. It is a definetly easy one, once you choose it you just don`t care anymore. But when you do have a moment of lucidity?

How the heck do you stand up and go give it a try, when all the world is crushing under your feet?
How do you find that power to at least say: I will go on?
And if you are a weak person, how can you see the light when you are staying on the margins of a cliff?

How do you do it?