A direction… a wake up?!

I am planing to impose myself a straight way ahead that I can and should manage. My life is a chaos. Nothing is straight. Nothing is concrete and nothing is  reliable. Still, I have a great family and some nice people that I can call friend, but is that enough?  I feel like I am in the shadows, waiting for some light to help me come through. But I guess I have to help myself first, and then I should or could see the light. And I am meaning any light, just be it, something that I know I can “depend” on, something I am doing daily or I am working on, or I am concentrating on or just give my attention to.

I am doing a thousand thing, but nothing concrete.  I have people arround me, but I feel somehow alone and dissapointed, I feel like I am falling since a thousand years and I need to wake up ! And now comes the part where I have to ask: how the hell do I do tat?

Where do I start from? How do I start? When and is there a right time?

I want to fly, I want to live, I want to work hard… I feel something is cooking for me..  well I decided I want to be there when it happens! and still the devil on my left shoulder tells me it is so damn hard and it sure hurts, but I`m not even sure what anymore…

I do have questions, and man, i need those answers! I know I have to be the one to find them, but I figured it is always better to have a helping hand from a friend than to be missarable in a corner of your house crying and saying it`s so hard it is almost impossible.

I am determined to start finding myself, and I figured this blog is the best way!

So hello again beautiful people of the world, it is good to find you.

Beware, i have loads of questions for you!